Alone Time

Today was one of those rare days where I was happy to have some time to myself. Actually, I think it was the first time in a long time where I could enjoy the solitude. I think it's just starting to hit me: I live alone.

I had my own room until my sophomore year of college. You would think that after having your own room for 19 years you'd grow accustomed to having your own space. Well not for me. I have always hated being alone. I don't sleep well when I'm by myself. It usually takes me a few weeks to get used to it, but I think it should get easier after today.

Today I took a little longer shower and had to rush to get ready. I left a mess in the bathroom and started to stress about the clutter. And then I took a breath and realized I can just pick it up later tonight...I wouldn't have a roommate to have to pick up for.

I think I've missed the freedom to be messy without the guilt. I'm not saying that I'm not messy at home, I shed hair like a snake sheds its skin, but I always feel guilty about it. But now, thanks to Ryan, I look forward to cleaning up after myself at the end of the day.

Ryan has helped me be a cleaner person and I'm happier for it, but every once and a while it's nice to live in one's own squalor.