"The eyes through which I look today
Banish shades of blue and shades of grey,
And it's only just begun.
It's only just begun.
The pavement that I walk upon
Clears away and it's clouds I'm on,
What could go wrong?
What could go wrong?
The world is at my fingertips and I'm finally reaching out.
I'm content in my decisions as I decide what life's about.
But then...it hits me,
That I don't have you here.
Yes, it hits me,
And then those grey shades reappear.
I step in the ring with my head held high
For each and every round,
But every time the gloves go down
It hits me.
I start this blog today with lyrics I recently wrote on my way to Cancun. Lauren had been in Germany for a few days and I had been in Miami for work and due to her travel and my travel and her lack of phone and Internet we weren't talking to much. When I got on the plane to Cancun (also for work), I was looking out the window and thinking about how excited I was to go to Cancun and then out of the blue "it hit me" that I was experiencing all of this without my best friend. It happens all the time since she has been away. I will be having a fantastic time and then something will remind me of her and it takes awhile for me to get back to where I was emotionally minutes before.
Recently it has been particularly tough. I rarely talk to Lauren and when I do it is usually only for a few minutes or just text messages. However, I have to say that I still love that girl so much and every passing second reminds me that she is the biggest part of my life and that without her life is pretty damn tough.
When I went out on my first tour and Lauren was still in New York we had our fair share of big fights. It seems we have figured it out this time around. Does it get easier? Hell no! Our levels of understanding and trust have grown and we know that we are gonna get through this together.
Lolly, if you are reading this...I love you!
Thanks for reading!
-Ryan
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